Monday, March 7, 2011

Cyborg... an awful, awful, awful, awful movie...

Cyborg is a post apocalyptic action movie from 1989.  It is about a fighter who is payed to take a Cyborg across the country, where her knowledge will be used to better humanity.  Unfortunately, the cyborg is kidnapped by a ruthless gang and it is up to the fighter to rescue her. 
This is an early starring vehicle for Jean Claude Van Damme, who had been and would be in, much better movies.  The plot here never advances past my description of it.  It's simply one chase scene or fight scene after another.  That might sound like a recipe for success but it is not here.  The fight scenes are awkwardly staged and aren't very exciting at all. 
The acting is terrible too, especially from the lead bad buy.  All he does is yell.  His fighting skills suck too.  He seems stuck in slow, lumbering giant mode, even though he really isn't a lumbering giant.  He definitely drags the movie down a lot. 
Cyborg features the one thing that can ruin any movie.  A miniscule plot that runs its course after an hour, except the movie still have thirty minutes left in it.  Fuck, I was suffering towards the end.  The fact that I found this enjoyable when it was a frequent Saturday afternoon movie, makes it even harder to watch now.  Maybe the commercial breaks every ten minutes or so broke up the movie enough that I didn't notice the lack of quality.  Who knows? 
I do know now that the movie was an effort to sit through. 
Fun fact: Cannon Films, who released Cyborg, had initially planned on making Masters Of The Universe 2 and Spider Man.  Both of those films were not made but the set and preproduction had been completed, so Cannon was in a scramble to save some money.  The script for Cyborg was created in a weekend and utilized the sets made for the two aformentioned movies. 
Anyway, Cyborg... avoid! 

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